five paper boats with the one at the front in red color and the other four at the back in blue color

How To Win Friends And Influence People – Why You Should Read This Book For Your Next Project



“How To Win Friends And Influence People” is a motivational book written by Dale Carnegie, initially published in 1936. Today, it is still one of the top-rated books of all time, selling over 30 million copies worldwide. In 2021, it ranked number 19 on the list of the 100 greatest books.


cover of how to win friends and influence people written by Dale Carnegie
“Carnegie” Changed My Life – Warren Buffett


In this highly recommended book, Carnegie boils down what makes people successful and why? He talks about the five major personality types and how each type can be used to gain influence over other people. Then he explains how to use these personality types effectively to influence people. He discusses how to use your strengths to your advantage and to make good use of our weaknesses as well.


This book is not just another book about winning relationships or social graces. It is far more than that. This book is a serious study about how to utilize our strengths to achieve our goals. He talks about how using your communication skills can get you anywhere.


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Why You Should Read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” For Your Next Project



The principles discussed in this book can be applied to any area of life and easily used by anyone. The secret to using your strengths to your advantage is identifying the key characteristics that make you different from everyone else. These are the things that set you apart from the others. Once you have found out your key attributes, you can use these traits to your advantage and meet people’s needs. “How To Win Friends And Influence People” presents you with the steps you need to take to become this kind of person.



For instance, if you are a talented singer, you may want to use your gift of music to meet someone who is a fan of yours. Your talent can help you do this. Besides, your ability to reach people’s hearts can also help you do this. This is because you will be able to provide them with a reason to be interested in you and to want to know you better. If you cannot sing well, you can still use your talent to your advantage.



If you are good at public speaking, then this book can help you use this skill to your advantage. People tend to look for leaders in their lives. If you can become a leader, then you can attract people to you. It would help if you also realize that leadership is not something that can be done overnight. Although some people may find you capable of leadership immediately, there is always room for you to learn how to win friends and influence people gradually.



How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie Summary



The book is full of practical and simple tips and secrets that anyone can implement. It does not really matter whether you are a guy or a gal. There are no gender barriers because this book targets men and women equally. Anyone who wants to get ahead can use this books ideas to their advantage.


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This how to win friends and influence people book gives you all of the information you need. It is effortless to read, and it does not take long to read. Even if you have a limited amount of time, this is an excellent choice. Many people find that this book helps them to succeed more quickly. If you are interested in influencing other people, this book can give you some good ideas on how to go about doing this.



A brief description of the methods and techniques in the book “How to win friends and influence people” is:



Methods of Handling People


  1. Don’t probe, protest or convict.
  2. Give impartial and reliable appreciation.
  3. Stir a desire in the other person.


Six techniques to Make Somebody Like You


  1. Become genuinely engaged in other people.
  2. Always have a smile on your face.
  3. A person’s name is the most pleasant and significant sound in any language for that person.
  4. Be a good audience. Encourage others to express themselves.
  5. Discuss in terms of the other person’s concerns.
  6. Make the other person feel valuable – and do it honestly.


Win People to Your Idea of Thinking


  1. The only way to win a dispute is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person’s beliefs. Never say, “You’re incorrect.”
  3. If you are mistaken, admit it promptly and absolutely.
  4. Start pleasantly.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” instantly.
  6. Let the other person do plenty of talking.
  7. Let the other person know that the concept belongs to them.
  8. Try sincerely to see things from the other’s point of opinion.
  9. Be thoughtful with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  11. Enact your ideas.
  12. Throw down a test.


How to be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Transgression or Arousing Resentment


  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before reprimanding the other person.
  4. Inquire instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the most negligible improvement and appreciate every progress. 
  7. Be “hearty in your admiration and generous in your compliment.”
  8. Give the other person prominence to live up to.
  9. Use encouragement. Make the lapse seem easy to reprimand.
  10. Make the other person comfortable about doing the thing you propose.


 If you need more insights on the concept of Leadership then you should read our other article on What are Team Building and Teamwork skills? Most Important skills when working in a Team in 2021



Some of the other points and techniques in the book are:




Criticism is useless because it puts others on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves. It is dangerous because it hurts a person’s pride, damages his sense of importance, and stirs anger. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do. But it takes determination and self-discipline to be sympathetic and lenient.


This reminds me of Thomas Carlyle’s famous quote: “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”


People are Irrational


When dealing with these creatures, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of reasoning. As we are dealing with creatures of passion, creatures teeming with contempt and motivated by pride and ego.



The Key to Inspiring Others


The only approach to inspiring others is talking about what they want and showing them how to get it.


The Secret of Success

If there is one code of success, then it lies in the capability to get the other person’s point of view and see anything from that person’s perspective instead of your own.



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